My Ribdiculous Reincarnation Episode 2: Hermit Crab / Right Door to the Demon King's Castle

The episode begins with Protagonist spinning tales of grand adventures, a hero, a pirate, an archeologist searching for a goddess. His memories are exaggerated, small events inflated into epic sagas. Back in the present, Lishia, the Goddess he sought, listens with quiet disdain. She cuts through his elaborate lies with a blunt remark, exposing his archaeological dig as a mere hole in his backyard. His grand facade crumbles under her bored, purple-eyed gaze.

After his resurrection, Protagonist immediately presses Lishia about her 'favorability rating' towards him. He is thrilled to discover it is at a high 95, anticipating a victory. His joy is short-lived, however, as Lishia reveals the chilling consequence of a perfect score. Reaching 100 percent means he will be turned into taxidermy, a permanent fixture in her decor. As the number ticks to 98, he breaks into a cold sweat.

To avert his taxidermied fate, Protagonist quickly chooses his next reincarnation: a hermit crab. He is reborn on a beach, surviving a perilous hatching to be scooped up by Hero Leitzenber. Due to one of Lishia's absurd power-ups, Leitzenber believes this tiny crab is his fated 'strongest weapon.' The crab, seeing a path to glory, looks up with hopeful eyes. But Leitzenber's attempts to use him as a weapon are, predictably, useless, leading the hero to question his own sanity before abandoning his crustacean companion.

Abandoned in the ocean, Protagonist as a hermit crab finds Sea Goddess Lactocha held captive by fish-men. Empowered by his 'strongest weapon' status, he liberates her. He transforms her ruined temple into a lavish 'Love Nest,' Hotel Yadokari, complete with neon lights and underwater luxury. He briefly enjoys what he perceives as a 'harem' life, with Lactocha seemingly enamored with her tiny, armored savior. This quiet period offers a momentary reprieve from the usual chaos of his reincarnations.

The peace of the underwater kingdom is shattered by the monstrous Levi-kun. Protagonist bravely engages the colossal sea monster, striking at its eye with his sharp claws, but is gravely injured. Wounded and drifting, he is then rescued by Benisake, a wise sockeye salmon. Under Benisake's tutelage, the crab undergoes intense training, mastering an ultimate technique. This period of martial prowess shows the crab's unexpected capacity for growth and discipline.

Reunited, Protagonist and Lactocha share a brief moment of happiness. However, disaster strikes due to the cruel mechanics of the 'Strongest Weapon' power-up. Lactocha tries to 'equip' him and is mortally wounded because the power is restricted to heroes. He holds her as she fades, his tiny claws useless against the flow of her life. The humor of his situation gives way to genuine grief, sparking a desire for vengeance against Hero Leitzenber.

Protagonist tracks down Hero Leitzenber for a duel, blaming him for Lactocha's death. They fight on a cliffside, a tiny crab and a human, ending in a double knockout and a moment of mutual respect. Leitzenber, dying, entrusts the crab with defeating Grassray. But the crab dies an ignoble death, swarmed by minions before reaching the main monster. In a final, posthumous burst of power, his spirit unleashes the 'Purgatory Flame Lightning Hell Kick,' incinerating Grassray and saving the world, though no one knows it was a crab.

Back in the throne room, Protagonist recounts his unrewarded heroism to Lishia, offering her a can of 'Benisake' salmon. As she accepts, her favorability rating hits 100%. True to her word, Lishia immediately turns him into taxidermy. He is frozen, conscious but unable to move, a decoration with 'Taxidermy' stamped on his forehead. Lishia, amused, places him in a corner and even punishes his attempts to peek by crushing him with her foot. His life as a statue is as chaotic as his life in motion.

Still trapped in his taxidermied state, Protagonist is allowed to choose his next form. He opts for 'Right Door of the Demon King's Castle,' hoping for observation and importance. Lishia warns him of the boredom of inanimate life, but he is resolute. He is launched into the reincarnation portal, his stuffed body shattering to reveal his new form. The world shifts, taking on a gothic, claymation aesthetic. He prepares for his stationary but critical role, a sentry at the Demon King's threshold.

Protagonist awakens as a sentient gargoyle door in the Demon King's throne room. He quickly discovers the Left Door is also sentient, leading to immediate bickering over loyalty and importance. The Demon King, a massive claymation figure, is constantly annoyed by their squabbles and his own allergies. The protagonist finds his new existence stressful, witnessing the mundane politics of the demon army. He attempts to exert his will by annoying minions with his opening and closing functions.

A powerful demon general, General Garenza, attempts to enter the throne room to report a human invasion. The Protagonist-door, feeling mischievous, activates his trap mechanism, crushing Garenza as he tries to pass. The Left Door mocks his methods, but the Demon King welcomes the quiet. As the human army besieges the castle, both doors defend the entrance, competing to rack up more kills by slamming their heavy frames shut on invaders. The chaos is a game, and the Demon King is left to suffer the consequences.

Back with Lishia, Protagonist reports on the castle siege from the belly of a bird-like avatar, all while expertly making curry fried rice. He uses cooking metaphors to describe the battle, his narration punctuated by the sizzle of the pan. Lishia watches, more interested in the smell of the food than the fate of the demon kingdom. He balances his roles as storyteller and personal chef, a peculiar rhythm forming in their odd coexistence.

The human Hero Eurarect finally reaches the throne room and engages the Demon King. The Protagonist-door and Left Door are caught in the crossfire, their frames scorched. In a fit of petty rage, they start shooting magic beams at each other, which accidentally strike Eurarect. The hero is blasted back, and the human army, confused by their leader's defeat by the architecture, retreats. The castle begins to collapse from the magic. The doors exchange one final insult before being buried under tons of rubble, ending the Protagonist's second life as unceremoniously as his first. The Demon King is left bewildered by his accidental victory.

Protagonist finishes his story and serves the curry fried rice to Lishia. They eat together in the quiet throne room, the tension dissipated. Lishia admits the rice is good, agreeing to have it once a week. He looks content, enjoying a rare moment of genuine connection with her. The episode ends with them peacefully finishing their meal, surrounded by the surreal beauty of her domain, awaiting his next bizarre life. It is a quiet, domestic end to an utterly chaotic episode.