Journal with Witch Episode 12: Find

A nervous student sings, his voice a wobbly thing against the large classroom. The audience offers polite, if somewhat detached, applause. One female student looks bored, observing the spectacle with dry amusement. Then, a hand rises, belonging to Asa-chan, filled with a fragile determination to step into the spotlight. Before he can, another student is called, leaving Asa-chan in a moment of suspended anticipation.

Asa-chan sits with Maki-kun, confessing he might not have joined the Light Music Club without Maki-kun's presence. Maki-kun, calm and observant, dismisses this notion gently. He insists Asa-chan's choice was his own, that true desire would find its way regardless of company. This is a moment of quiet, firm encouragement, pushing Asa-chan towards internal accountability.

Asa-chan wonders what his parents would say about his choices, triggering brief, telling flashbacks. His mother appears disapproving, questioning his hair, a symbol of deviation. His father, however, is accepting, advocating for his son to do whatever he likes. This dichotomy of parental influence—one critical, one liberating—leaves Asa-chan feeling adrift, uncertain if standing out is good or bad, a question that lingers in the air.

Maki-kun challenges Asa-chan's confusion about standing out, asserting that genuine distinction is built on effort. His advice, darkly humorous and provocative, is to "kill them" if others complain about one's individuality. This extreme suggestion leaves Asa-chan bewildered, unable to grasp the intensity. Yet, in his profound confusion, a resolve begins to form, a desperate need to act despite his lack of understanding.

Asa-chan idly texts Maki-kun, commenting on the surprising closeness between Maki-kun and his own mother. He expresses boredom, a quiet malaise, as he surveys his room. His gaze then falls upon a green '3 Year Diary', a seemingly ordinary object that promises a deeper introspection, a pathway into a different past than his own.

Asa-chan and Maki-kun enjoy lunch at an Italian restaurant, sharing wine and a comfortable, easy conversation. Maki-kun reflects on his initial arrival in Sendai, regretting that he didn't discover such a comforting place earlier. Asa-chan confesses that his earlier vulnerability would have made seeing Maki-kun then overwhelming, comparing Maki-kun's features to his late mother's. The wine glasses reflect their younger, more vulnerable selves, underscoring the weight of Maki-kun's grief and Asa-chan's newfound empathy.

Elsewhere, Asa-chan's male teacher meets Koudai-san for lunch, a chance encounter leading to an unexpected shared experience. The teacher laments the forced social rituals of university, particularly the expectation to drink and conform. He recounts being ostracized for his refusal, feeling that his studious nature clashed with the unspoken rules of what he calls the 'baptism of male society.'

Koudai-san listens to the teacher's story, understanding the weight of social expectations. Flashbacks illustrate the 'baptism of male society': reckless student behavior, objectifying girls, and the harsh discipline of a baseball coach demanding conformity. Koudai-san reveals his own past struggles, a moment of distraught tears against the backdrop of an old man's stern command: "If you're a man, don't cry!" He believes that by rejecting these pressures and fleeing, he finally found his core, becoming truly human.

Koudai-san speaks of his newfound authenticity, his core, which emerged after he stopped trying to adapt to others. He now yearns for people who are true to themselves, who can only be who they are, an observation that surprises the male teacher. Koudai-san confirms this is his genuine self, a hard-won identity forged through rebellion against stifling norms. This revelation marks a significant shift in his understanding of strength.

Leaving the restaurant, Maki-kun encourages Asa-chan to find his own answers, his own way. He admits it will take time, but he will confirm things one by one, a methodical approach to self-discovery. Asa-chan expresses his gratitude for Maki-kun's presence, a beacon of support. Meanwhile, Koudai-san and the male teacher reflect on Asa-chan's potential, hoping he will become 'composed' through his continued pursuit of self-truth, a future they eagerly anticipate.

Asa-chan wanders through a shop, drawn to a stained-glass lantern. He picks it up, and it glows with soft, colourful light. A smile spreads across his face, a moment of simple joy and contentment. It is a quiet, personal discovery, a small flicker of light in his ongoing search for his own illuminated path.

Later, over a quiet breakfast, Maki-kun continues his gentle guidance, advising Asa-chan to transcribe favorite poems and consciously write in his diary. He poses a final, profound question to Asa-chan: "Your mother's diary, did it only contain truths?" As Asa-chan leaves, Maki-kun watches him go, his thoughtful smile suggesting the journey of self-discovery is ongoing, intricate, and deeply personal.